Posted in Motherhood

What Does Your Motherhood Room Look Like?

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, it seems appropriate for me to open up the Motherhood Room of my heart and home to you first. After all, when I meet someone new and they ask me who I am, I ALWAYS start my response with, “Well, I’m a mama of five and…”

It doesn’t matter what else follows because Mama is the name I answer to most and it’s who I think of myself as most of the time. But I haven’t always been someone’s mama and I know a day will come (sooner than I’d care to think about) in which nobody who calls me Mama will reside in my home. If I only know myself as Mama, I’m going to miss out on many great rooms in my heart that our Father God wants to fill.

So, Motherhood is a great room to start building in as long as we don’t try to camp out here and neglect the rest of our hearts.

Before we start to open the door, I think it’s only fair to remind you that motherhood is sticky business. It’s one of the few rooms in our hearts that comes with baggage. Whether you grow up with a healthy mom, a hurting mom, an absent mom, or a replacement mom, you come into your own motherhood with beliefs, standards, norms, and expectations.

Welcome to Motherhood

When we build our Motherhood Room on the foundation of Christ the Solid Rock, we know that we are about to build something beautiful and holy. Have you ever thought about your motherhood as being holy?

I’ll be honest, when I first became a mama I read all the books and asked all the questions and I filtered everything through my own world view and developed my own theory of motherhood. I got a few things right and a lot of things wrong. I’m raising some amazing kiddos and I’ve left some permanent scars. The amount of therapy these children will need someday will likely pay for some counselor’s summer condo on the beach. And that’s because I’ve spent the last 18 years trying to figure out how to be a Christian mama. I knew my own philosophy of motherhood and I thought I was doing a fairly good job of living out that philosophy as a Christian.

But that is NOT who God called me to be.

God called me to be His. God called me to glorify Him in everything that I do. God called me to live a life of obedience to Him while enjoying communion with Him. Being a mama was just a blessing that He gave me along the way. Over the last few years I SHOULD have been asking Him how He wants me to be a mama while I’m serving Him rather than asking Him how I can serve Him while I’m busy being their mama.

When we get this backwards, none of our building goes quite as planned. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to try to construct the walls and ceiling of a room and THEN pick it up and place it on the foundation? With a great deal of effort you might be able to get a few walls to stand and the roof might look fairly stable but nothing will be completely secure unless it’s built ON the foundation.

Remember that baggage I mentioned that shows up in our Motherhood Room the moment we start to build? If our faith comes secondary to our motherhood, that baggage gets strewn around the room and no amount of decorating can make our room look cohesive. The rare and beautiful treasures God has promised us get lost among the clutter we have yet to deal with. Even the cute bags of precious memories that we’ve toted along from childhood seem to clash with the plans God has for us unless we seek HIS blueprints first before we open the door and step inside.

When we consult with the Master Builder and Designer before we erect the walls of our motherhood, He graciously issues us priceless treasures to adorn our room. But if we start building and decorating on our own, we’ll start to notice many rags among our riches.

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve had it backwards this whole time. Maybe you’ve never even thought about asking God to help you be the mama He wants you to be. Please don’t leave this page without realizing that there is precious hope for each one of us weary mamas.

Regardless of your past, regardless of your childhood, regardless of your motherhood, our Father God wants to bless you with rare and precious treasures. It is never too late to surrender your motherhood (and every area of your life) to Him. I mean it. Yes, I’m talking to you. I’m talking directly to the mama who lost her cool and screamed at her kids today. I’m talking to the mama who doesn’t even know where her teenage son is right now. I’m talking to the mama who wasn’t ready to become a mama and made the choice to end her child’s life before he or she was even born. No matter what your mistakes have been, no matter where your sins have taken you, they can end in hope today.

Our God is a good, good Father and He loves you more than you’ll ever imagine. If you don’t already know Him as your personal Lord and Savior (or if you don’t even know what all that religious stuff means), please click on that CONTACT button above and reach out to me. I want to tell you all about the Father who loves you SO MUCH that He was willing to give His Son for you.

If you already know God and you’ve walked away from Him or maybe you’re walking with Him but you realize that you’ve been looking at motherhood backwards, you can reach out to me, too. I’d love to pray for you, as well. And would you do me a favor? Would you pray for me? I don’t have this motherhood thing figured out just yet but I know the Savior who does.

Welcome to Motherhood
Happy Mother’s Day!

Father God, thank You for being a good, good Father. Thank You for loving us right where we are and for giving us hope on our darkest days. Help us to shift our priorities so that our motherhood falls perfectly in line under our desire to be the women you’ve called us to be. When we build upon You, our perfect foundation, You are so faithful to give us the wisdom and understanding we need to raise godly little people, our greatest treasures of all. Bless our babies and call them into a saving relationship with You. Amen.

Posted in Bible Study, Cooking, Crafts, Friendship, Homeschool, Illness, Marriage, Motherhood, Politics, Prayer, Reflection, Uncategorized, Writing

The Blueprints Behind the Blog

Every well-built house started in the form of a definite purpose plus a definite plan in the nature of a set of blueprints.”

Napoleon Hill

When I look back over the path of my 40 years on this earth, it is hard for me to imagine that any kind of strategic planning ever occurred before I drew my first breath and plunged head-first into my awkward existence. Like many babies, I was a surprise, and the plan and purpose of my life have remained unclear ever since I arrived.

Sure, I was taught that ultimately my greatest aspiration should be to bring glory to God in all that I do but I have wondered for years exactly what that should look like. It’s like telling someone that their assignment is to build a beautiful house without telling them what kind of design might appeal most to the future occupants of the home.

A few months ago I found myself in an overwhelming and frantic search for my dream kitchen. Water was leaking into my kitchen floor caused by a leaking pipe between my exterior wall and my kitchen sink. The initial assessment indicated that we would need to replace a wall, our cabinets, our countertop, and our flooring. In short, I needed a new kitchen.

While this sounded like an absolute dream come true at first, I quickly found myself overwhelmed and frustrated. My judgmental spirit is quick to decide if I love or hate something whether it is a piece of art, a book, or a tiled back-splash but I found that I have absolutely no earthly ability to design anything. None. I know what I like but I am not good at creating something from nothing.

This should not have surprised me because this has been an overarching theme throughout my life. I have strong opinions but I don’t know how to build anything out of them. I’ve struggled with my identity and been embarrassingly envious of women who have found their niche, their purpose, or their dream come true. I’ve prayed that God would give me something that would steer me in a clear direction. I’ve asked Him to pick a path and set me on it. Yet, for years I’ve felt stuck in the middle of the crowd, wandering aimlessly towards nothing.

Instead of meticulously sketching out my dream kitchen, I found myself pinning countless kitchen cabinets and counter tops to my Pinterest board declaring, “I like this one the best” about ten different times. Seriously. I made up my mind and changed my mind and made up my mind again over and over until I no longer believed in my own ability to make a decision. I took every “What Is Your Design Style” quiz I could find online and shook my head in dismay when the only style match that I received repetitively was “Eclectic”.

When the final inspection revealed that the massive air dryers in our kitchen had done their job and removed all the moisture from our cabinets, walls, and floor and that a kitchen re-model would no longer be necessary, I sighed with relief like a prisoner who had just been pardoned. Deciding what I wanted most was no longer my responsibility and I was relieved.

Over the past 20 years as an adult, I’ve embraced a plethora of architectural and decorative design styles for my life that have never felt complete. I’ve tried to paint myself as a military wife or a wounded warrior wife. I’ve attempted to drape my motherhood with my experience as a homeschool mama and co-op leader. I’ve wired my heart for being the mama of a child with cancer and for being a lupus warrior, myself. I’ve adorned my walls with this ministry and that ministry and many fun hobbies that I picked up along the way. I’ve furnished my life with everything from expensive investment pieces to flea market finds and nothing has ever felt cohesive.

And then I re-read this verse.

Through skillful and godly wisdom, a house, a life, a home, a family is built, and by understanding it is established on a sound and good foundation, and by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasure.”

Proverbs 24:3-4

That’s when I realized my life wasn’t quite as disheveled and mix-matched as I thought. Yes, my interests and my choices have been quite eclectic over the years but that does not make me any less Me.

The rooms in my house match the rooms in my heart. They are varied in size and style and color but they are each uniquely and beautifully mine. I can change up the paint and the flooring and the furnishings as often as I like but that won’t change who I am because I will always have the same solid foundation.

My faith.

My faith is my foundation and it is what my entire life is built upon, no matter what it looks like today or tomorrow. Storms have come and gone, knocking down walls and breaking out windows but my foundation has never wavered because my faith is built upon the Solid Rock. Jesus Christ is a “sound and good foundation” and by my hungry quest for more knowledge of Him, the rooms of my life are being filled with “rare and beautiful treasure”.

The foundation was poured years ago and I have fabricated rough walls and doors along the way, but they never connected cohesively because I wasn’t looking at the blueprints. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tie in my faith with my role as a mom or as a writer or as a student, when all along I should have been trying to figure out how to tie in each of those roles with my faith. A builder never builds a room first and THEN sets it on the foundation. A room is always built ON the foundation.

So today, with the launching of this blog, I’m unrolling the blueprints that God has given me. I’m not focused nearly as much on the decorating right now as I am with the foundation and the structure of each room. I have been neglecting the passions that God planted in my heart years ago out of fear that I could never make them match with the rest of the life I was building. Now I know that the passions of my heart are part of the foundation of my faith. They are God-gifts and if I don’t use them, I could very well lose them.

Welcome to She Builds Rooms of Treasure. I hope you will examine the blueprints of your own life as we do life together, filling the rooms of our lives with rare and beautiful treasure, for the glory of God.

May 25th will be my 41st birthday and with that, I will be making an exciting announcement. It will be the wall-raising of a new room in my life upon the foundation of my faith and I cannot wait to share it with you.